In the morning

Some mornings I wake up not wanting to get out of bed, the doom of life knocking at my door and I just want to pull the covers back over and take a lifetime nap. Those are the days I force myself to make sure I get out & ride my bike or go to a friends. We need to remember with anxiety we cannot be afraid of what is out there. The best thing to do is to run into the fear, whatever it may be. Taking it one day at a time and assuming all we have is right now, this very moment. And I know it gets tiring feeling the same way day in and day out, but it will receed with time. Some days I go the whole day and never think about it others I still do, depending what I need to do for that day.With most anxiety sufferers we assume the worst can happen, a giant meteor will come down killing us, or perhaps it's our brain, or maybe it's a heart attack, it has to be right? We are so very wrong. After months of checking, blood work, multiple doctor visits I concluded it was just me. So on these days, not so many anymore, I know the only thing stopping me is me and I cannot live my life that way. I was brainwashed by my ex, he continually told me I was going crazy and I wasn't in reality, but the reality was I was seeing it full on. I was with someone who didn't understand this as an actual problem, I wonder if I had diabetes if he would tell me to just get over it? Who knows? I didn't want to stay on to find out, so I left.

My biggest issue now is finding some financial peace, some sort of "career" if u will call it that brings me some joy and security in my life. Hard to say in this world we live in, what is security now? For me it's more of knowing you have people that love you no matter what, and I do know love doesn't pay my bills so I must keep going, into the vast unknown of unemployment and try to find something that soothes my aching soul. Your family truley is all we have in this life, maybe a mate, or a couple of good friends that you know how amazing, beautiful, and wonderful you really are!