Divorce

Four days ago I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He did not fight it, he did not say "no, lets make it work," just said, "are you sure this is what you want" and how do I answer that? With another heavy sigh and the same thing I have told him over and over, which he quickly cuts me off and says, "I dont want to talk about it now" What a suprise! After I handed him the paperwork and found some relief in the whole process. I filed this morning and have been grieving for the last few days just lower than normal but I also dont have anything to fill my time other than my blogs so that doesnt help.

My roommate had an unfortunate incident happen on Saturday and she lost her keys thus causing me more stress and I had an anxiety attack on Sunday. It wasnt debilitating just enough to make me somewhat uncomfortable as I was walking to get pizza with my girlfriend. It passed quickly enough but it makes you question your own emotions when it's happening and trying to keep them in control is out of the picture as I am sure you know. This brings me to my whole point of stress once again, that evil culprit that brings on this terrible feeling you get when your world is spinning wildly out of control. All the structure and foundation in your life you have built, proudly knowing you did it all yourself and suddenly it shakes and tumbles and you have to rebuild again. Stress is the key in this issue and I have been under an intense amount of it as of late. We are changing, daily, we take in information, we put out information, I seem to be at an awakening where I cant get enough information in my little brain but yet feel so overwhelmed with it all. Like I am sprinting on direction but someone is pulling on my shirt stopping me, I need to work on that. The anxiety is rare now, I think acceptance is the best way to deal with it, continue on with your life, it cant harm you, it just wants to make you uncomfortable enough so that you stop living life and that is not a battle I am going to lose at.