Another Time

So here it is February, it's been a very long two months and I have gone from a total high to a total low. I am trying to remain optomistic but at times it is incredibly hard. I have been plagued by anxiety for the last two weeks it seems stemming from hormones perhaps? I find myself unmotivated by everything and walking in what feels like a waking shadow. Overwhelmed in school, over loaded in my own mind, stress is everywhere. Some would look at my life and say, "Hey she's got it easy, what does she have to worry about?" I say EVERYTHING! Dont you see! My chronic worrying is to much at times and I wish it away but it never goes. Dissasociation is prevalent and I really wish I could snap out of this. My normal sunny disposition is not anywhere to be found and I really want it to come back. I must regain control of my life and figure out what it is that is bringing this dark cloud down on me. I found out I am not getting the Pell grant to pay for my 2012 tuition so I am forced to take loans to pay for the classes. I am trying to rationalize why this is ok to do, and the only thing I can come up with is that it will make it so I am able to get financial aid for next year. I have a huge support group and people who love me but yet I still feel this bleak darkness pounding down on my psyche. I am sure tomorrow will be better, spring is around the corner.